I’m surrounded by Asian Moms (AM). They are a particular breed: strict, sometimes terrifying, and you never know if you are doing the right thing in their eyes.
My mother.. I do love my mother, and she’s wonderful, loving, and interesting. The thing is, I honestly never know if I’m good enough in her eyes. I know this sounds stupid, especially to people who know me personally. But sometimes, I just wish she’d be more proud of me, and supportive of my interests and adventures. I tell her that I want to start something based on something I have genuine passion for, and she’s like, “oh okay…” Um, where’s the “Go for it! Take your chance!” No.. “That sounds like a great idea!”
It just reminds me of the time in high school when she told me to be more involved in school, like my sister. What? At that time I was in a billion activities, and taking way more honors courses than my sister ever took, and the only reason she doesn’t know is because she’s too busy with HER work.
Now she wants to start her own adventure too, and it’s like.. mom, can’t you see what I’m capable of? I’m not going to be just another peon in this corporate world!
Speaking of being a peon.. I am the ultimate sucker at my work. I seriously feel like my supervisors treat me as this cute little puppy. I’m not saying I’m not cute.. but they treat me as an Asian Mom would treat their daughter. In general, it sums up to “you must do as I say.”
The worst part.. I never realize how STUPID or WILLING I am until later.. and it drives me crazy. AH!!
1 response so far ↓
1 3 jie // Feb 9, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Trust me, I felt the same way you do now. It took me a while to finally realize that Mom is the way she is. When I wanted to go to the East Coast for school, her response was “ok, do what you want.” And that’s her response to most things. In a way that’s good, but yeah, I also felt like “where is the ‘go for it’ support?”
You’re doing very well, trust me. And keep in mind that what matters most is your happiness!
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